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truth, beauty, freedom and above all things love
20 most recent entries

Date:2008-01-10 19:41
Subject:wow. 104 weeks later...

and I finally remembered that I had a live journal...

crazy how things just creep away from you!

so much to catch up on...!!

look to the sky
Date:2005-12-21 12:41
Subject:home sweet home

i've finished another semester. and academically..it was my best semester of my college career. i think that i made the deans list. :)

i start my teacher assisting on January 9th, at Century Park Learning Center in Grandville. i was placed in the 5th grade. i can't wait!!

only 2 more semesters..and i graduate!! it's so exciting. i can't wait to be done with school..to be free and be able to do as i please. i am not really sure if i want to still go to florida when i am done..but there isn't anything keeping me here anymore...so it's still a big possibility. i would love to go and get the experience and have a paying job..but it's so far away from everything that i know and everyone that i love..however..it might be good for me to pick up and leave..to be by myself for a while..to take ME time!

well..the past year brought joy and sarrow.

in march. i went to Miami  for spring break..i was a site leader for alternative spring breaks..and took 10 other students to work at an orphage for a week. it was amazing..i had an amazing week and met so many wonferful people..when i can afford it..i want to adopt all of those kids..they touched my heart in so many ways...

in may i started dating the love of my life...my best friend of seven years. i was the happiest girl alive. my life seemed so complete. he made me smile everyday and filled my heart. however in october i guess things started to take a turn for the worse. i came home one weekend..and he called me and told me things weren't working out. my heart broke. he told me he was never able to fall in love with me..and that he wanted to save our friendship..so we needed to end things now..before it got worse. i cried for weeks. and sometimes i still do. i am still very much in love with him..even though he broke my heart. i knew from day one that i would be devestated if anything bad happened..i knew that i would lose my best friend if things went wrong..but i had so much confidence in our relationship..i never thought that we would take that turn. but we have. and not only did i lose my love..i lost my best friend..it's so weird not to have him around. for seven years..i've been able to just pick up the phone..or drive down the hill..if i needed him. but now..i can't. he's seeing someone else. which makes it even harder...cause if i were to just pop in..she might be there..and that isn't somthing i am ready for yet...the love of my life has moved on..and i'm stuck.

my grandfather also passed away this year. on november 18th. the friday before thanksgiving. it was very unexpected it. i miss him a lot. he was such a postive, active, wonderful man. he lived a wonderful life. he and my grandmother were married for 51 years. they have three daughters and a son (my dad)..and nine grandchildren. he served our country as a marine. he will never be forgotten. i love you grandpa.

one of my best friends had a baby on october 26th..and i am such a proud auntie! nicholas paul kaschel is beautiful. and he makes me smile all of the time..charissa is an amazing mother. i am so proud of her..and her strength.

so. that's my life right now. i am sure there is alot more that has happened..but these are the major events. :) life is good. i am home in tc for break until the begining of january.

until next time. jab





2 shooting stars| look to the sky

Date:2005-12-05 01:06

Your Celebrity Sisters Are Jessica and Ashlee

Beautiful, feminine, and stylish.
Who care's if you're a bit of a daddy's girl?
Who Are Your Celebrity Sisters?

look to the sky

Date:2005-11-18 17:53
Mood: numb

a good friend sent me this today:

I'll bet you've had about enough of people telling you how strong you are and how great you are doing during this awful, difficult period in your life.  Maybe you'd rather hear someone say how much this sucks, how outrageous and unfair it is.  Maybe you'd rather hear someone tell you that you don't have to be strong all the time. Or that it's definitly okay to curse fate and throw a tantrum or two. So here I am telling you all that stuff and more, to let you know where I stand, which is right in your corner.  There's no right way or wrong way at a time like this.  However you work through this thing is immaterial to me.  All I care about is that you ask for what you need, lean on those who love you and try to trust me when I say that you will come out on the other side so believe that and you will be okay!

and it's really helped me to get throught this day..this day that i've spent all alone..in my apartment. i miss him so much..

i love you grandpa. march 1929-november 11, 2005

look to the sky

Date:2005-04-20 12:58
Mood: busy

so much has happened since my last update, exactly 2 mothes ago...or not.

i went to miami for spring break and it might have been one of the most amazing things that i have ever done in my 22 years of life. i worked at an orphanage all week, renovating 2 new homes during the day and at night we got to interact with the kids!! i had such an awsome time..i loved it so much, those kids totally changed me..i can't believe some of the things that they have gone through in the short time they have been on this planet. i've promised myself that i will go back to HIS HOUSE CHILDREN'S HOME..no matter what it takes..i just have to be able to see some of those kids again and let them know how much they are cared about. (pics are up).

 other then that. i have been keeping super busy with school and whatnot. only one more week left..and i will have completed another year of college...that means four years of college. Four years since i graduated from highschool..four years since i left my stomping ground..four years since i left everything that i was completly comfortable with. but as i look back on the last four years of my life..i wouldn't have changed a thing. i love grand valley..my friends..the education i have recived, thus far...the things i have done....the places i have gone...and then i remember that i still have another year left in good ol' allendale. another year to experience so many wonderful things!

 last thursday roberta, julie, mr. matt chapman and i all went to "wine school" @ the BOB. it was so much fun..we got to learn about the wines of Chile..and how to drink wine! and we each recieved 6 glasses of wine..plus cheese and fruit all for only $15. we all got a little tipsy and decided we were going to have to do it every week!! last week i was elected president of Alpha Phi Omega, a new student organization on campus that i helped to bring to gvsu. it is a national, co-ed, service fraternity. we are waiting our chapter from nationals..but i am super excited to get things rolling. http://www.apo.org/ , go ahead and take a look!!

this weekend i participated in relay for life...and stayed all 12 hours without sleeping! it was awsome...jarod and i bonded and had some good laughs throughout the night. the best part is..is that gvsu raised over $72,000 for cancer research!!!

and life goes on...Collapse )

wow. sorry for such a long entry..i've had so much going on..so much bottled up..and i could probably still babble on..but i'll save it for later..

i have to run. i have a meeting with my prof in 15 minutes..and then i get to spend the rest of the day in the language lab, the library and the computer lab..oh yea, and i get to pick up ashley from the airport!

have a great day, until next time.

look to the sky

Date:2005-02-19 12:43
Mood: content

so my quick overnight stay in tc ended up being a three night stay..and i didn't come back to school until tuesday morning!! which was nice..cuase i really needed sometime away from this place..but at the same time..it almost made me want to stay in tc..i have been really not myself lately..all i do is sleep..and sit around by myself...! i miss home..but i am not sure why..cause there isn't much more to do there either..but i think i just feel more myself or somthing around my family and tc friends...! not that i don't act myself when i am here at school..but somting lately has just put me on edge..and made me not want to do anything but be alone. i love my roomie..and my friends alot..! and i think that the past few days have been better. now that roberta is back and home more often. maybe its just that i hate being alone..i don't think i could ever live by myself...its almost depressing. i need someone around to talk to..or even if i don't talk to them..just knowing that i am not here all alone..makes me a lot more "chipper", i guess.

well roberta found out that she is placed in the new apartments on campus next year as an MA..so that means i too have a place to live now!! which is super exciting..cause they are brand new..and they are beautiful..!! So next year we will be living in South Campus! I am soo happy..cause it were we both really wanted to live !!

i tried to figure out my schedule for next year...and it is as follows: i am taking PED 305 this summer in TC..but get this..its only 4 days long either June 20-23 or July 25-28, but its from 8:30am until 5:30pm ..i think its rather awsome..getting 3 credits for a one week class!! :o)

and then in the fall i am taking..(if i can get into the classes): Eng 362-sociolignustics Monday, Wednesdays from 3-4:15, Eng 495-capstone Monday, Wednesday 4:30-5:45, LIB 310-creativity Wednesdays 6-9 and CTH 300 -storytelling Thursdays 6-9.

which means i'll need to find a job in which i can work mornings/days!! and with no tuesday or friday classes..it's going to be an amazing semester!! i hope to be able to apply for the college of education in september..so that I can start my teacher assisting in the winter!!

:o) other then that its been a short week..which makes it nice..so that spring break seems closer...2 more weeks..and i'll be on my way to MIAMI!! (plus it will be my birthday too...22, where do the years go!!)

until next time!!

4 shooting stars| look to the sky

Date:2005-02-16 00:40



LJ friendsCollage.

Brought to you by pratibha75 and teemus.

look to the sky

Date:2005-02-14 13:55
Subject:jesi is...
Mood: drained

googlism for: jesi


jesi is layered on top of the esi framework
jesi is the most famous and historically noted doc wine of the marches
jesi is situated on the right side of the esino river
jesi is 'perfetto' as they say in italy
jesi is "perfetto
jesi is located in the centre of the marches region
jesi is a collection of java class library that allows you to develop e
jesi is a round
jesi is about 5' 10" and has dark blond hair
jesi is very tall
jesi is a specification
jesi is vernoemd naar de voornaamste druif die voor deze doc is toegestaan
jesi is part of the gang; ewoks are ever mentioned; jesi's home life is revealed
jesi is being attacked
jesi is to be congratulated on this splendid revival
jesi is still stuck with him
jesi is the town of pergolesi
jesi is the promoter of interventions and actions for the constitution in jesi of a public regional stock of vintage wines
jesi is important for the operas of ercole ramazzini
jesi is home to most of the verdicchio that we see in the united states; the doc verdicchio dei castelli di jesi will be printed on the labels of
jesi is located in the centre of the marches amid rolling
jesi is also the leader of a very large european project called comenius action 2 which focuses on migrating populations
jesi is a handsomely city situated in region marche
jesi is very old
jesi is involved in the teen youth group and jp is in patch the pirate club
jesi is fully awake
jesi is situated over a hill on the flow of the esino river
jesi is the daughter of wayne and deborah storlie of la crosse
jesi is still not feeling well
jesi is a 1997 graduate of beebe high school
jesi is the official dj wrangler
jesi is not even within the boundaries of the appella
jesi is even easier to use and it has more features copyright © oracle
jesi is committed to high standards and publishing research of sterling quality
jesi is trying to get it
jesi is married 2
jesi is a refreshing live version of the
jesi is home to the famous verdicchio wine
jesi is me with
jesi is going to take over the site until january
jesi is the ampelio bucci estate
jesi is part japanese and she told me that the word sushi actually means rice with vinegar and that they even have sushi ice cream in japan
jesi is a specification and custom jsp tag library that developers can use to automatically generate esi code
jesi is an intercessor
jesi is by far the most important in terms of volume of production
jesi is basically a suburb of ancona
jesi is layered on top of the standard esi framework
jesi is a specification and custom tag library that jsp developers can use to automatically generate esi code
jesi is generous
jesi is probably the best around
jesi is going to be redoing the look of my site
jesi is currently working on a graduate degree in kinesiology and sport studies as well as a bachelors degree in dance at wichita state university
jesi is an acronym for jsp
jesi is a small town with 50
jesi is excellent as aperitif and with fish appetizers
jesi is involved in band
jesi is currently working on a science fiction book
jesi is a jsp tag library with two roles
jesi is a light and lively example while the belesario verdicchio di matelica has a slightly more serious side
jesi is two years younger
jesi is just this
jesi is this
jesi is een vrij banale druivensoort die vooral voor massaproductie wordt gebruikt
jesi is art director for the cottage grove sentinel
jesi is 9 and gabi is 6
jesi is the best known version and it is lean and lemony
jesi is worth a million laughs every day
jesi is once again perplexed by the card game
jesi is always quick to note how fortunate we are that our advisor's tastes in liquor are so cheap
jesi is situated
jesi is a children's workshop programme that uses it as a learning tool
jesi is round
jesi is going her own custom character
jesi is crying
jesi is terribly plundered by francesco maria della rovere
jesi is getting a
jesi is the one w/ the yellow shirt on
jesi is een hoofdstuk apart

look to the sky

Date:2005-02-11 12:14
Mood: awake

this week as been extreamly stressful. nothing seems to be going right. but it's finally friday..and i'll be stress free once i get all of the forms sent in for our site, for asb.

it's been forever since my last update..due to the fact that i really just don't have time...which is strange..since i am only taking 13 credits this semester. i ended up dropping my Eng 461 class, Language and Gender...the class i was soo excited to take, but ended up having an extream busy work load..and i really need to keep up my GPA this semester..so i felt that i needed to drop it..in order to do so. i'll take it next year..!! my spanish class is enjoyable..but i am not doing that well in it..my tests are really hard..but i am taking it credit no credit...so it doesn't effect my GPA either. other then that..math, brit lit and mythology are all going well. it's lots and lots of reading..and homework. but i am enjoying it.

i love being single...its been almost a year and half..but i love not having to be "committed" to anyone. it's fun just being able to do my own thing..when i have time!! i was really interested in this one guy..but he told me he had other interests..which is cool, cause i really don't want a commitment anyway. and plus i don't think that my family would really like the whole fact of my being with him..long story..but he doesn't have the same "skin" color as me..which doesn't bother me one bit..he is really an amazing guy, very successful in what he does thus far and is very commieted to school and his job. plus he has an amazing personality...but since things aren't going anywhere..i am so happy just to be his friend!!

roberta and i ended up not getting another roommate this semster..thus far. so having my own room has been nice..not that i minded sharing a room last semester with roberta..but i like having my own space..and she does too. we miss ashley like crazy..and things really aren't the same without her..!! julie spends the night about once or twice a week...GOTTA LOVE 3C slumber parties...oh how i love my girls..and Jesi-Julie fun nights are always memorable!! but next week..will start the "Jesi, Julie-Roberta" fun nights..because roberta finally quit her job with student senate...and will now be able to spend more time doing this that she really enjoys..like being with Julie and I!!!

Only 3 more weeks..and i'll be on my way to Miami...to volunteer at an Orphanage with my asb crew!! ...but only if i get all of our paper work and forms in the mail today. that has been the most stressful part of my last few weeks. trying to get all of my participants to pick up their background checks...and to get me all of their letters of rec!! and we finally found a place to stay too. it's called the Clay Hotel and Hostel..in South Beach Miami...only 2 blocks from the beach!! so when we aren't at the orphanage...we can spend some time on the beach!!


until next time!!

look to the sky

Date:2005-01-21 17:51

The \\
Last Cigarette:last night..
Last Alcoholic Drink:last night
Last Car Ride:about 30 minutes ago
Last Kiss:last night
Last Good Cry:hmm, last week..after my fight with nick
Last Library Book:this past summer
Last book bought:ALL OF MY BOOKS FOR CLASSES, $400 worth
Last Book Read:I am reading Pride and Prejudice right now
Last Movie Seen in Theatres:Spanglish
Last Movie Rented:Spidar Man 2
Last Cuss Word Uttered:this morning..
Last Beverage Drank:water, about an hour ago
Last Food Consumed:leftover Chinese food @ 11am
Last Crush:right now! tehe
Last Phone Call:an hour ago..to Julie Cross
Last TV Show Watched:Dawson's Creek this morning
Last Time Showered:about 30minutes ago...@5pm!!
Last Shoes Worn:my new sued shoes from Bass
Last CD Played:Doc Brown..Justin Avery
Last Item Bought:Wednesday I bought a new cell phone
Last Download:my homework assignment for math
Last Annoyance:some of the girls at the bar last night
Last Disappointment:last week...
Last Soda Drank:hmmm i don't drink it
Last Thing Written:my math homework
Last Key Used:my apartment key...about two hours ago
Last Words Spoken:"call me when you get done with your meeting"
Last Sleep:my nap today from 1-2
Last Ice Cream Eaten:hmmmm...i have no idea..it's been awhile.
Last Chair Sat In:my desk chair
Last Webpage Visited:www.gvsu.edu


look to the sky

Date:2005-01-18 17:21

What Napoleon Dynamite Phrase Are You?
Pick One
Your Phrase I see your drinking 1%, is that because you think that you're fat?!?
Napoleonness - 59%
Will You Ever Be As Cool As Napoleon?? (8) - Yes. - (8)
This QuickKwiz by pimpinit772 - Taken 83727 Times.
New - COOL Dating Tips and Romance Advice!

look to the sky

Date:2005-01-13 18:12
Mood: energetic

wow. i can't believe it's been so long since my last update...

break went extreamly well. i got to see just about everybody that i wanted to see. including some people that i really wished i didn't have to see...arg. i was able to relax without having to worry about school and homework. i watched kaitlin and kenzie, 3 of the days and i was able to pick up 4 shifts at apache as well. i love my family and all..but it's soo good to finally be back at school...i've missed the valley!!

classes this semster are going fairly well. i'm taking 3 English classes..so i'll have plenty of reading and papers to write. and after this semester i'll be done with spanish!! thank god! i am going to take it credit/no credit soo it doesn't mess with my gpa too much! math is a joke..i have the same prof as last semester....she is such a nut..why am i putting myself through this again..honestly she is so scatter brained that it makes me crazy!

this weather is absolutly nuts. i am not sure what to think..other then the fact that my calender reads January 13th..and yesterday we had thunderstorms and huge amounts of rain that melted ALL of the snow..and then this morning it was still raining..but this afternoon it started to snow...can someone please make up their mind?? i'd just like some consistincy...!!

well that is about it. i have a meeting in a few minutes with my ASB trip..so we can get some things in order. because march 4th is going to be here before we know it..and i'll be on my way to miami!!!

oh. I've decided that I want to do a picture mame just like

bebella. so if there is anything that you would like to know about me that can be put into a picture..let me know!! </span>


look to the sky

Date:2004-12-21 22:12

i shopped ALL day. and now i have a headache. i normally don't mind shopping, in fact i love shopping! but today was crazy...but i should have expected the loads of people. it just really made me frusterated and made me hate shopping today. but i did get most of the things that i need. just a few smaller things left to pick up.

and grades were posted today. the long anticipated wait..mostly for my spanish grade. because that class really killed me this semester. he wouldn't let me know my grade at all..and i felt like all i was doing was spanish 24/7 and almost failing every single one of my tests. but today..yes today, made it all better. I PASSED, with a B- !!!!! I also received a B- in British Lit, an A in art and a B in my math class. so overall i am very pleased!!

well, my dear friend nick is on his way over to watch a movie..and i will wrap some christmas presents.

have a happy holiday.

1 shooting star| look to the sky

Date:2004-12-15 16:37
Mood: thankful

i am done!! i've finished ANOTHER semester at Grand Valley State University...one more semester closer to graduating!! oh wait..that isn't until December 2006..oh well. at least i am closer!!

my math final wasn't too bad..my art final was open note..my spanish final was absolutly horrible..and my brit lit final just included way, way, way too much information/readings.

my little sister, danielle, is coming tomorrow to hang out until saturday..when we will both head to monroe for a family christmas. and then we are TC bound until January!!

i'm a bit sad, cause when i come back..ashley, one of my roommates, will be gone and there will be someone else in her place. a new roommate..that we know nothing about..and won't until she is already here and moved in. pssh. not to happy about it..but oh well. we'll deal. i guess..unless i get mean..and make her feel super uncomfortable!! haha. just kidding..i'm not mean!!

tonight the roomies and i are going out to dinner, instead of buying chirstmas presents for eachother...!! i am super excited! so i must be going..


look to the sky

Date:2004-12-09 01:43
Subject:ode to procrastination
Mood: grumpy

gotta love procrastination.

i wait until the last minute to get colored copies for my art class...so i go to the library at 1opm and then the color copier on campus is "OUT OF ORDER". so i drive as fast as I an to Kinko's which closes at 11pm...and get their with 15 minutes to spare. drive back to campus to the computer..to type up lables for all of my art projects..and do spanish homework. and now i am going home to cut and paste all of the lables onto my art projects. and to finish/START my "ocluar" art project and to paint eyes on to the puppet that I made...it's 1:30am and i have to turn it in at 8am. guess who isn't getting any sleep tonight!!! i know i shouldn't complain, cause it's my own fault..and i've known about all of this for weeeeks. and then tomorrow after my art and british lit classes (last ones!!!!) i get to head back to the language lab, where i was for TWO hours today, so I can get ALL of my hours in. and then spend the rest of my time doing more spanish homework and extra credit. and then i get to go to spanish (FOR THE LAST TIME..well this semester) to take a test.

oh. but it doesn't end there, after probably getting NO sleep tonight. I have a meeting for Alpha Pi Omega @ 9, a new greek volunteer organization that we are trying to get on campus. and then i am going to help Ashley clean our apartment..cause it is absolutly gross, cause her whole family is coming this weekend for her graduation. pheww..and then maybe sleep!!

ok, sorry for the rant and rave.

only ONE MORE WEEK until everything is OVER for the semester!!

look to the sky

Date:2004-12-04 23:41
Subject:one more week!!
Mood: gloomy

here i sit at 11:45pm on Saturday night at the computer lab!! how cool am i?? i only have one more week of classes before finals..how fast did this semester fly by!! it's almost crazy. one of my roommates, ashley, graduates this semester, very sad. cause we have had some amazing and wonderful times..but they will soon be over. she will be getting a real job and making a real income. but we are hopeing that she stays in GR..for she is applying for jobs in this area! i on the other hand still have at least 4 more semesters left. arg!

well things have been super busy. classes and homework take up so much of my time it is rediculous. i really don't understand how this happened..but it did. and i am so glad christmas break is just around the corner,cause i really need some time off from school and using my brain!

i am still without a job. although my friend scott just informed me that the alumni house needs someone to work the front desk after break, which would be perfect..cause i could still go home and relax before my crazy next semester starts. i am still living the single life..which is rather enjoyable..i like not having to worry about spending all my "extra" time (ha, extra time..what's that) with someone. but at the same time...i would really enjoy having someone to cuddle with every now and then..especially now that winter is coming! aww how cute would that be??

i went home for thanksgiving break. and it was amazing. my cousin mike suprised a bunch of us and flew home from San Diago. so the whole old "clan" was back together for the week. we had lots of late nights and bar time. and were able to catch up on old and new stuff about each others lives. not sure when that will happed again..cause mike and rusty will be at sea for 6 monthes, matt is going to london next semester, katie is in wisconsion. so yeah. but we made lots more memorable memories!! the first night we were all together..(tuesday) we meet up at the bar, after andrea and i drove home from GR, mike flew in from Cali and Katie drove from wisconsion. got really really drunk..went to kate's house for an after party...then we all decided to go back to andrea's house. ben and i got pulled over, really scary..but the cop let us go. then at andreas..we all talked and stayed up until almost 7 in the morning..including andrea's mom. it was amazing..i was up for 24 hours straight!! oh, miss the "clan"!

on thanksgiving..3 of my friends had their babies..!! Maggie and Bruce welcomed little Donovan Robert into the world, Brett and Evan had a little girl named Jordyn Evan (she is adorable) and Matt's sister Meridith had her liitle baby girl, Natilie Paige. so it was a rather eventful day! and it was great to have my whole family together..the first time since my grandfather passed away almost 8 years ago!

this week was crazy..i am really sick with a nasty horrible cold, that just seems to be getting worse. but on top of that i had 2 papers and a lesson plan due, a note book full of notes due, 2 big tests and a quiz. next week i have another test, 2 quizzes, a presentation and and extream amounts of spanish extra credit that i need to do!! but..in two weeks..it will all be over. until January 10th!

well i should get back to my homework. i want to go to bed early so i can get up for church in the morning..do more homework and then go to meetings all night!!

look to the sky

Date:2004-11-30 01:18

Your band by jesus_spiced
Pick an obscenity
You will be theBassist
Your groupie will besweetpee
Your cover band will be started bybettierocksit
Debut CD nameA Christmas Special
Your next tour isDecember 11, 2007
Opening bandLynyrd Skynyrd (brough back to life)
You sound like a mix betweenThe Doors
Band quirkYou're so awesome you all get crucified
Typical band clicheYou make "Behind the Music" in 5 years
Quiz created with MemeGen!

look to the sky

Date:2004-11-10 17:43

winter schedule:

ENG 204 Mythology  TTH 10-11:15

ENG 221 British Lit 2  TTH 11:30-12:45

ENG 461 Language and Gender  MW 4:30-5:45

MTH 222 Math for Elementry Teachers 2  TTH 2-3:50

SPA 201 Intermediate Spanish MTWTH 1-2:50


and i love the part that i am a senior taking ALL 200 level classes except for one next semester!! ha.

tis life. i'm going to be in college for the rest of my life...or so it seems!!

look to the sky

Date:2004-11-08 22:04
Subject:and it goes like this...
Mood: thirsty

lots o moviesCollapse )

3 shooting stars| look to the sky

Date:2004-10-25 18:38
Subject:Happy Happy Birthday!!

Happy Birthday Michelle!!

2 shooting stars| look to the sky

my journal